i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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