He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
