we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
