Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
