yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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