I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
