One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
