i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
