We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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