oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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