I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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