I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
