My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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