Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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