Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
