I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
