Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My pussy is not your playground.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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