come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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