please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
