i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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