gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
