Dual....:-)
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
