i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Never joke about your clitoris.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
