My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
