After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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