Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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