thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
