sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
