I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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