Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize