oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
