Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
