i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
