New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
