so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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