i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
