bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
