im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
