Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
