3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
