is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
