At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize