No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
