I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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