I'm eating all of the evidence.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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