The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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