you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
