What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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