Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
