Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
