Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
