I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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