he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
