He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
