There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
