You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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