I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
