found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
