I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
