We're facebook friends in real life
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
