I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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