I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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