when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize