Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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