I'm really into asian looking animals
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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