I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
